(1874 - 1965) - British prime minister, author.
- A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
- A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject
- Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
-- (replying to Lady Astor's comment 'Sir, you're drunk!') - I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
- Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.
- History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
- Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into a even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose.
- An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile--hoping it will eat him last.
- I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
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